Being Brave and Growing Past Self Doubt

“You can, you should, and if your brave enough to start, you will”

-Stephen King

 

This quote summarizes my relationship with art. I have always loved crafting, drawing, painting, and creating. My spirit thrives on creativity. I wanted to be an artist from the time I was a little kid but self doubt and fear crept in to my mind and held me back.

I saw my friend’s artwork and felt inadequate. I didn’t feel talented enough to actually become a professional artist and worried I would become the “starving artist” I so often heard talked about. Fear of failure caused me to turn down opportunities and go down a different path.

I still created but I stayed in my “safe zone” by limiting myself to doing crafting things like scrapbooking and card making. I could create within those boundaries without feeling self -conscious when other people looked at my work. If I was only giving it to family and friends I wouldn’t feel as self conscious about whether they liked it or not.

As I got older I started caring less about what people thought of me and started pushing myself outside my comfort zone. It started with selling cards and tags online no longer limiting myself to family. Then it turned into designing the cards and tags from scratch while avoiding predesigned elements like stamps or die cutters. The more I infused my genuine creative self into my creations the more successful my business became. Then I decided to push myself further by entering a 30 day drawing/art challenge in an effort to develop my drawing skills. I started it with the initial idea that it would help me design my own unique line of cards and tags.

To hold myself accountable and let go of fear I decided to share what I was drawing on social media. I fell back in love with drawing and to my surprise strangers loved what I was creating. People I had never met started buying my artwork so I kept working at developing my skills as a fine artist. Painting and drawing took so much of my time that I ended up having to change the direction I took my business. I eventually stopped selling handmade stationary and focused all my free time to art.

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First Day of the 30 day art challenge
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Day 10 of the 30 day art challenge

 

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Day 30 of the art challenge

If I hadn’t had those moments of bravery where I put myself outside my comfort zone I would still be wishing I were an artist instead of actually being one. I have not only grown as an artist but as person. I have learned to be brave and to push myself outside of my comfort zone because that is where I have the opportunity to experience a life I never thought possible. I have also learned to worry less about what other people think because in the end it doesn’t really matter. What matters most is being my genuine self and realizing what I do and create is important. Yes, other artists may draw or paint better than I do but that doesn’t undermine what I am creating.

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First Charcoal portrait
Tom Petty - Charcoal
Charcoal Portrait of Tom Petty

When self doubt starts to creep back into my mind and threatens to paralyze my growth I remind myself of all the wonderful experiences Ive had because I didn’t let fear hold me back. Besides if there is anything I would like to do better the only way I am going to improve at it is by practicing.

-Lauren

 

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